Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
In a recent trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’
She responded, ‘Why yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy and frankly, you’ve been a big dissapointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes I know you.’
The prosecuter was STUNNED. Not knowing what else to do, he points across the room and asks, ‘Mrs. Jones do you know the defense attorney?’
She takes a deep breath and huffs, ‘Why yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’
The defense attorney yells “Objection” and nearly faints.
The judge calls both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice says:
“If either of you two idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair!”
Filed under: GENERAL
hahaha